nessus's Diaryland Diary



I've wanted to write about this for a while now.

Be forewarned, this may very well be considered "TMI".

I don't understand most people's preoccupation with sex.

Of course I enjoy sex, but there are plenty of things I enjoy more. The most intimate, the most important moments I've shared with a significant other weren't during sex.

I could go the rest of my life without sex if I had to, not that I would want to, it just isn't so important to me that life would be unfulfilling without it.

I remember friends in high school bemoaning how they'd gone for an entire WEEK without sex!

I don't like how my sex drive clouds my mind, influences the decisions I make, and then the moment it is satiated those motivations suddenly seem suspect. I am NOT saying I regret anything, I just don't like how much of a hold it has over me. Makes me into a slavering dog. I don't want to be that person.

And I realize I perhaps divide love and sex too much. Love is important to me, the most important thing I can think of.

Sex complicates things. Sex is the ruination of self-esteem.

Sex in popular culture often manifests as misogynistic exaltation of the male psyche.

For me blow jobs aren't the end all be all they seem to be for most guys.

God, blow jobs are pretty much considered the epitome of male gratification. To be desired above all else.

The "on your knees" position is so unbelievably connoted with submission and domination.

Then there's the cumshot, intended to humiliate the girl, it's considered a bonus if she gets some in her eye. Fucking disgusting.

People are free to do what they like, this has nothing to do with puritanism, it's about people being influenced unknowingly by media that promotes misogyny.

A lot of people base their expectations of their sex lives on porn, and if the porn includes misogynistic themes, then that is likely to carry over into their sex life, it becomes part of our culture and is perpetuated with every subsequent partner.

I know I'm not these people, and that that isn't my intent, but it influences how I feel about it regardless.

1:46 a.m. - 2008-04-21


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